Was up until 3:30am waiting for my baby girl to come home from out of town by herself. I know she's 20 yrs old but I still worry about them both especially when they travel alone.
Why are men like diapers? They’re usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off.
What’s the difference between a clitoris and a cell phone? Nothing! Every cunt’s got one.
“A man and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. He shouted at her, “You aren’t so good in bed either!” Then stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided he’d better make amends and called home. “What took you so long to answer?” he asked. “I was in bed,” she replied. “What were you doing in bed this late?” “Getting a second opinion.”
Hi going back 3 days on this thread my neighborhood is packed with people wandering around staring at their cell phone looking for Pokemon it a strange world
How is Facebook like a refrigerator?
Every few minutes you open it to see if there's anything good in it. :D
It saw the salad dressing.
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What is Peter Pan's favorite fast food restaurant?
Wendy's
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Why did the kid stare at the frozen orange juice can all day?
Because the lable said "concentrate".
To make it wet, you suck it.
To make it stiff, you lick it.
To get it in, you push it.
DAMN!!!!!
Threading a needle at any age is no fucking joke! :p
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off.
What’s the difference between a clitoris and a cell phone? Nothing! Every cunt’s got one.
“A man and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. He shouted at her, “You aren’t so good in bed either!” Then stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided he’d better make amends and called home. “What took you so long to answer?” he asked. “I was in bed,” she replied. “What were you doing in bed this late?” “Getting a second opinion.”
Why do dogs lick their balls?
Because they can
Uhhuh, TATERS IS LOVE. TATER IS LIFE.
Happy? ^___^
♥️❤️❣♥️❤️❣
I know, I know...I'm gonna burn in hell but I couldn't help myself. :D :D :D
Then it just becomes a soap opera.
:D :D :D :p :p :p
But the servers have been down today. :/